Anti-roll Bars

It is my understanding that tractors have anti-roll bars to prevent them toppling over on steep slopes. I do not have much time for tractors, tending to move about the farm and moors in my Wellington boots at a leisurely pace, much to the annoyance of the farm managers. But anything designed to prevent toppling over has to be a good thing. I will have a word with Glenda down at the Hope and Anchor. my local rhyming slang inn - they might be able to attach some anti-roll bars to my bar stool to compensate for the effects of too much scrumpy.

Regular readers, a small and select group of afficianos of farm life plus a strange woman from Tuscany - hi Ornella, only joking! - , will begin to know how my mind works. Slowly, to be sure, but I have all the time in the world to think the thoughts I need to think as I wander about. In particular, I have been strongly influenced  by my good friend Peter Pun....

Over the years, many trainee shepherds have come under my tutelage and then moved on to bigger and better farms. I hope they have taken with them a little farming wisdom, an understanding and appreciation of sheep, and memories of happy times. But I think the biggest contribution I make is as an anti-role model. I am an exemplar of the fine arts of procrastination and disorganisation. I have a flock of long-haired sheep - they are not a special breed, I just have not gone round to shearing them yet. And milk production! I have gallons of the stuff in jugs, urns, and pots and pans in my little hut, all going sour. By dedicating myself so selflessly to the role of anti-role model, I feel I am contributing to a brighter future. Alas, my own flame can be seen faltering in a cold wind.