Excitement in the Farmyard

Oh it has been a long time since my last post. I put it down to the hard work of traipsing across the waterlogged fields of Septford in my standard issue Wellington boots, adorned with a flash of corporate colours. I could of course use my tractor, but new instructions have recently been issued for all tractor licences to be inspected, together with the each farm worker's tractor insurance documentation. The council's tentacles slowly reach out to touch and entwine ever more aspects of our working lives, further impeding our endeavours to do what we have been trained to do. It is the cold touch of bureaucracy driven by paranoia - and I bet they don't even have a licence! Maybe soon I will have to sign a form each month to confirm that I am not involved in drug trafficking or mixing with terrorists because these are also illegal activities. Soon, there will be regular inspections of my fridge at home to check that I do not have any out of date food.

But it is not all doom and gloom! The recent unveiling of plans for the opening ceremony of the Olympics has generated much excitment on the farm and in the surrounding villages. We are hoping that we will be chosen to represent the nation, to showcase the bucolic idyll which is Septford. We are busy polishing the tractors and dipping the sheep in readiness for the ceremony. The word down by the water trough is that our own mayor may be the surprise choice to light the flame in the stadium - come the moment, come the man: there could not be a better match!

So, on that incendiary note, I will leave to search again for that stupid tractor licence.